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Friday, 2 April 2010

Loosing my NZ virginity


I guess i should have known about Danny when it was announced over drinking games that evening that i was his roommate and someone shouted out 'good to see your still walking'. Tragically, this only intrigued me more. Many of my more sensible friends would have requested a room change upon entering the dirt infested lair that was to be my room, but seeing the lads mags scattered on the floor and the insatiable smell of mens cologne pungent in the air, only made me more excited to meet my room mates ESPECIALLY having heard the rep that proceeded Danny (he even had my favorite name). For the first night he was an elusive character and i only knew of him what the lads told each other, to which i listened intently. His reputation certainly did proceed him, but i had met 'geezaaaas' before so i believed this wasnt new territory and being my roomate i anticipated a drunken hook-up or two.

My second day in Queenstown was spent predominantly bed-ridden after consuming-one-too many teapots in 'World Bar' the previous night. I had stayed in the girls dorm after be-friending some lovely lasses from London and had dragged myself back to my room at about 9am. I eventually crawled out of bed at 5 and on my way to the bathroom, looking like a drug-addicted prostitute who had just had a busy night at the brothel...i bumped into Danny. Now Danny was complelty average looking, nothing wrong with him, in fact quite cute, but nothing to cum in your pants over...that is until he opened his mouth.
'Alright darlin' he said in a laddish essex drawl. I melted and mumbled something about being hungover.
'Good night was it then? Heard you come back at 9. Lads room on the first night. Good on ya' he winked without a hint of judgement. I tried to defend myself with the story which was actually true (i only wish i ha got lucky that night), but he just laughed and went on doing what he was doing. At that moment i made it not only my intention, but my all-encompasing mission to get with Danny that night but ALAS he had a slowly improving case of the 'man flu'(week long hangover) and was staying in. FUCK was all i could think and although i had only just met him, for the rest of the day whenever i remembered his accent a tingling in my nether regions couldnt help but get me dissapointed.

Still, not one to be dissuaged i carried on and significantly drank through the hangover from hell.

That was the night i got face raped. Which i will detail in my next blog.

So apart from said face-rape the night was quite uneventful sex-wise and despite having a fucking fantastic night with a group of swedish girls i trudged back to my room with another girl with that tingling in my pants still unsatisfied. When we got back to the room Danny was awake and reading. He seemed more than happy to indulge me and my accomplice in drunken crime in smashed chat for over an hour and even encouraged us to read aloud from his book which was without a doubt the most crude literature i had ever laid eyes on. The scene Danny had been reading was a ghraphic account of how the misogynist protagoninst was sucking listorene out of his lovers pussy!!! The thought of Danny reading alone in the room and getting turned on only incensed me more but i was drunk and he had 'man-flu'...i didnt see it happening. Somewhere in between our conversation i passed out and was awoken sometime later to my friend saying her goodbyes. I quickly said mine, keen to go back to sleep but somehow found myself chatting to Danny....Even now, despite trying my hardest, i can not remember what was discussed but whatever it was cant have been too humiliating as after a while he simply said 'do you fancy getting into my bed?'
My hear pounded.
Did i hear him right?
Was my mind trying to fuck myself over and simply inventing things?
Was i, like a lost man in the desert desperate for water creating a sexual mirriage due to extreme hornieness??? All these questions flooded my mind only to be assuaged by him repeating his proposition. 'Well? he asked.
'Well' What you gorgeous arrognant son of a bitch. Of course i fucking fancy it. His accent added to his extreme arrogance made him irresitable. But doubts flashed in my head. 'I am a nice girl and nice girls dont simply roll across to their room mates bed to give out blowjobs', 'he is my roommate and this could be seriously awkward tomorrow', and the most overriding factor 'he is sober and i am smashed therefore while i wont remember all fanny farts etc yet he will have them emblazoned on his memory'.
OBVIOUSLY these doubts were quickly answered with 'fuck it' and i hopped, skipped an staggered over to his bed. The memories that follow are a flurry of kissing, 69ers and sex with nothing going hideously wrong (that i can remember).


Anyway, i woke up in my bed and for a brief moment forgot the sexual deviancy of the previous night. I slowly turned round to inspect the damage, groaning and cringing in my head as i did so. Dannys bed was empty and my pants were on the floor, perfectly positioned between our sides of the room. If i was in any doubt before about what had occured, i need not be for long. Scooping up my cum-sodden niks i sprinted to the bathroom, keen to avoid any post sex awkwardness. Looking in the mirror i violently cringed as i inspected my reflection. Picking a chip out of my hair i shuddered, hopped into the shower and attempted to wash myself of humilation for 15 minutes.

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