So Long Sadness

Things have changed. I don't know when. I don't know why, but they have. And for the first time in what feels like a lifetime (but which I do admit is only a matter of weeks), my smile is genuine. You feel this change as profoundly as if you had woken up one morning with wings. Suddenly things are easier. Suddenly you're braver. Suddenly you realise that things simply aren't that bad.

And you feel foolish. You're embarrassed that your friends saw you crying (or in my case had to peel your mangy corpse off the floor), you cringe that you called him so many times, and you’re sorry that you wasted your time on someone so utterly meaningless to your future happiness. But you're at peace. No hate. No sadness. Normality begins to set it.

You don't realise until you're over it just how fragile a break-up makes you. Everything is just a ticking time-bomb to tears and tantrums. From someone merely asking you how you are, to checking your phone...anything can evoke that deep sadness, that gut wrenching realisation that it’s over.

My Mother won't mention his name (she always did take our break-ups harder than me, so was the extent of her adoration for him), and my darling little brother can't believe he let him play on his x-box' (yeah well i can't believe i let him play on my x-box while he was playing on some other girls x-box). As for me though, no longer is he the 'averagely endowed, Chlamydia ridden basterd whose only achievement in life is the rapid spread of stis and probable impregnation of countless whores around England and Wales', and no longer (and quite rightly) is his new girlfriend 'the ignorant, ugly slut who ruined my life' (although my bestie did do me a favor and send me a photo of her and frankly, it left me feeling a little smug).

I have seemingly raced through the 5 stages of grief with impressive yet alarming speed.
I left denial in the dust having quickly accepted that yes, he really does have a new girlfriend.
I quickly abandoned anger after the valentine’s text that went ignored.
I gave bargaining a brief look in having badgered his phone with psychotic intensity.
And well, i think the imaginary noose i hung for myself while in depression speaks for itself.
But now acceptance has come a-knocking, and it is glorious, like a cig after a non-smoking cab. I can't inhale it deeply enough.


So, how could a new singleton with a burning desire to exercise this new lease of life possibly do so???

A 5 month round-the-world trip should do it.
I leave in 10 days.

If there is some resentment still bubbling away inside of me, a few mint majitos on the beach in Thailand should settle it...not to mention countless buff boys in Aus...